Did Ya Miss Me?

     I'm sure one of these days I will get this silly thing in some sort of semblance of order and update it consistently. Until then, however, I suppose we'll make due with what we have. What we have is inconsistency at its finest, with a splash of mental illness, oxford commas, and an inability to give up regardless of how many years it takes. So, if you're still here, thank you and it won't be much longer now. If the six views on the last post are anyone but me leave a comment. Might help me stay motivated. 

    Don't get discouraged if things aren't going as fast as you'd hoped. Everything will happen at the pace it needs to happen, and besides, do we want it done fast or do we want it to last? It's too important for half-a**ed. Bring your whole a** or gtfo! Right? Here's to a**es. And effort. And bonds so strong ain't nothin gonna diminish 'em. And unconditional love. And knowing in the depths of our souls we truly don't mind what happens now and then cuz we absolutely will be each other's friend at the end.

    Remembering why we're doing this will help, I think. The fact that I am writing this unsure who the "we" in question is (I have a very strong idea but there's a very large part of me afraid it's just a really solid delusion) but knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt the part of We who isn't me is absolutely going to see this and it is absolutely going to be completely understood and relevant and it may even be exactly what they needed to hear when they come across it is what is keeping me typing. It just occurred to me I'm not completely sure what "this" is that "we" are doing, either. Hmm.. Right now, I am introspective. I woke up and was writing a note and misspelled a thing and instead of saying, "Damn it, Becca" I said, "Damn it, Rebecca." I don't know why that matters, but it does, and This for me right now, today, is learning how to love myself and how to love others and how to get closer to God and how to break toxic cycles. So, why we are doing this:

1. I do what I want.
2. The best apology is changed behavior.
3. We can't change the past
4. Our past actions don't define our future actions.
5. We are all capable of doing different than we have.
6. It's not too late
7. It's never too late
8. Our short cuts
9. Our dead ends
10. Our dead friends
11. Our demons
12. We're just some neighborhood kids tryna live our dreams out in this b*tch
13. When it's all said and done we aint here that long, better get your feet wet.

    Credit for the song lyrics bytes belongs to MayDay and Three Days Grace. Oh, and to 3 Doors Down. Here's the music list in my heart right now:

1. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down
2. When I'm Gone - 3 Doors Down
3. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
4. White Trash Beautiful - Everlast
5. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
6. Dog House - Yelawolf
7. Bad Husband - Eminem
8. Ok - Insane Clown Posse
9. Wish I Was You - Joey Cool
10. Reject - bfgf
11. High Hopes - Panic! At the Disco
12. If You Want Love - NF
13. Hate Bein Alone - Cryptic Wisdom
14. Ill Mind Of Hopsin 8 - Hopsin
15. Radio - Yelawolf
16. Encore/Numb - Jay-Z & Linkin Park
17. White Tee - CORPSE
18. I'm Comin' Home - Insane Clown Posse
19. Everybody Rize - Insane Clown Posse
20. Nothing's Left - Insane Clown Posse

    If you're reading this looking for clues, then I must've decided the time has come to get lost. Feel free to join us if any of this post plucked your heart strings, we won't be as lost as the lost colony. A rose by any other name but not..A rosebed in a differen location is still a rosebed? Idk. But you do. It'll make sense if you don't think about it too much, especially since we discussed it a while back. Or maybe when we decide we're done bein lost we'll follow to the sunshine? Or maybe we'll just keep on keepin on and know in our hearts we have a whole team cheerin us on in their hearts same as we're cheerin in ours and be grateful we've been blessed and our hearts are the same no matter how many miles apart.

Ain't sh*t changed but the month and year. I love you. And I'm out like a fat b*tch in dodgeball.